SD 38: MAIN EVENT- Eno vs EBDT

[Ben Jacobs]

The winner of this match will go on to face The Phil at Hog Heaven: Going Wild for the RCW Southern Heritage Championship.
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Post RPs below.
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[Eno Redrum]

Chains That Bind

[Eno Redrum]

Questions and Self Doubt

[El Bastardo Del Talòn?]

(The shot opens up to a hotel room. Not the normal taco bell we're used to seeing Bastardo #1 and Bastardo #2 in. However, there is a small difference. One is wearing red trunks, the other blue. Similar

R:So, this is how it winds up is it? We rip up that contract, and what does A.J. Supreme do? He pits us up against the Eno Redrum. I mean, it's almost not fair to Phil is it?

B: Yeah, I know right? It's pretty pimpy the way it's going. The thing that seems to really be funny, is there are two El Bastardo's in this place, and he didn't really specifically said it'd be your lame poser butt doing the fighting.

R: So? I mean, it really doesn't have to be that way does it? I mean, techincally, we both could be fighting the Juggernaut right?

B: The who?

R: Eno Redrum, I read someplace that he was the Juggernaut. Like a dreadnought, but juggy like.

B: Oh, that. Yeah, you're wrong though, he's affiliated with something called Juggernaut ENT.

R: Like an Ent? A huge walking tree beast from Tolkien?

B: No, no, no, like, entertainment. I think. Maybe he is from Tolkien. How tall
is he?

R: Uhm, hold up a second, I didn't realise there'd be a pop quiz on this did I?

(Bastardo Red whips out an iPhone and punches on it a few times, then tilts his head a bit.)

R: Six foot six. Uhm, no, not from Tolkien, at least not one of the hobbits at least. Maybe Legolas.

B: Legolas? The prissy fairy elf?

R: Uhm, yeah, he's fugly ain't he?

B: Not fugly like Phil, but yeah, he's been hit by a pimp hand once or twice by the look of him.

R: So he's not a Tolkien guy then.

B: Nope, so not an Ent then right?

R: Right. So it has to be entertainment?

B: Fraid so.

R: Then what am I gonna do with that blasted ring the short bugger gave me a week ago? I mean it's not really going to take itself to that volcano is it?

B: Dude, like I told you, that's your problem. You can find some lame volcano on your own. The only Gold I'm going after is Phil's. That belt will go right here.

(B makes a motion with his hands across his waist.)

R: But you have to get past that Eno guy first.

B: Yeah, but Eno kinda sounds like a mexican number. We should call him
Jugger-not instead. After the way he almost took Abernathy to the woodshed, he's deserving of the title I think.

R: I think you mispronounced that a bit. It's a bit hard to tell though, being that you have that accent of yours.

B: This coming from the mexican luchador with a Brittish accent?

R: Yes, this coming from the Mexican Luchador with the Brittish accent. I'm sure he's the Jugga-knot, and not the Jugger-not. I mean, if we're gonna give him a name like a pet, we at least need to agree on the pro-nunciation of it.

B: The Juggle-naut? Like one who ventures into the domain of the jugglers?

R: No, not Juggle, Jugger.

B: What kinda place is Jugger? It's not like we're expecting the guy to cmoe from a titty bar. Though, we need to try and find one in this place.

R: A strip joint here? Are you nuts? Have you gone off the wonky end? They'd be all non-forking family tree and stuff. And besides that, the name is Juggernaut. Like, the bloke from the X-man movie. Here, I'll show you.

(A few seconds on Youtube on the iPhone, and the clip is produced from the movie.)

"Don't you know who I am? I'm the motha effin' Jugga-nought, b*tch."

B: Dude, you sound just like him when you do that.

R: That wasn't me, it was the iPhone.

B: I still can't believe you bought one of those, I mean, here we are in this
backwoods place chasing Phil, and you buy a GPS capable phone from Satan.

R: AT&T, not quite Satan.

B: Close enough. I still don't know why you have one though.

R: Cause it has three Geee!

B: You don't know what that even means.

R: What's that matter? 'Sides, it helped us figure out how tall the guy is diddan' it?

B: But that's about it, the guy's a pretty moody fellow. Like, a man who doesn't get out much. Like that one guy in that emo spiderman movie.

R: Oh, you mean Loll from wings? Never really liked that show.

B: Uhm, you really have a hard time focusing don't you?

R: A small bit, I really haven't had a lot of good sleep since I got this phone.

B: Isn't there an App for that?

R: Actually, there is, right. One of those mood sound things that are supposed to lull you to sleep by making it sound like there's a babbling brook nearby, but almost made me piss myself so I trashed the piece of crap.

B: Dude, you can't say curse words, the network people get annoyed.

R: Really? They say crap in Southpark all the time though.

B: Hell if I really know, I just know it was on that list we weren't supposed to say on the air is all.

R: Well the editing guy can strip it all out can't he? I mean, we have that crummy disposable camera again, so it's not like we can edit it.

B: I still don't see why that 300 dollar paper weight you bought couldn't be used.

(Bastardo Red replies in a muffled voice.)

R: It doesn't do video.

B: What was that?

(His voice raises a bit.)

R: It doesn't do video.

B: Right. That settles it, for this fight I think I'll go, cause you don't want the title, and your brain is obviously a few D sized batteries short of firing off, and I bet if we both showed up, A.J. would veto the contract.

R: But we could try to double team it!

B: Nah, this guy shouldn't be too hard for me and my guns.

R: I hope you know what you're doing, maybe we can talk about it later though, cause the blasted thing's almost outta film, the red light is blinking.

B: Oh crud, well I guess we'll have to go and get another one from Walgreens. Man, I hope I win this thng, as we really need a good camera.

(And with that, the camer shot goes blank.)