Delilah Ghost vs. JJ Hart

[AJ Supreme]

Place all rp's below

[Delilah Ghost]

On the screen, a Taco Bell commercial gives way to a scene filled with a rather nicely decorated christmas tree. In the background plays an instrumental version of 'We Three Kings'. In the foreground, a large metal garbage can sits in front of the tree. After a moment, you can hear someone humming along with the music. Soon after, a baseball bat is tossed into the can.

“Myrrh is mine, its bitter perfume..."

A spool of barbed wire follows the bat.

"...breathes a life of gathering doom."

A sledgehammer comes soon after, landing in the can with a resounding clang.

"Sorrowing, sighing, bleeding, dying..."

A taser, policeman's nightstick, handcuffs, cheese grater...even a large white bag with 'Acme Bag o' Tacks' make their way into the can.

"...sealed in a stone-cold tomb.”

Dressed in a rather...racy...Mrs. Claus outfit, Delilah Ghost walks over to the can and puts a length of heavy chain into the can. She turns to the camera and grins before sticking a bow on the end of the sledgehammer's handle.

"Looks like Christmas is coming early this year, kiddies. I've been checking my list, oh yes, and three little boys will be getting exactly what they deserve. Well...two little boys will be getting what's coming to them, and one will be getting an extended stay in an ICU. And I? I will be getting one of the best presents ever. The satisfaction that comes with the pain and agony of others."

Delilah looks down into the can, reaches in, and pulls out a riding crop. She gives it a 'thwack' against the side of the can and looks back up at the camera.

"Why yes, Virginia, I am one twisted b*tch. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go find Santa."

She exits, laughing, as the picture fades to black......

[return?]

(We fade in to see JJ Hart sitting in his... um... 'office', if you want to call it that. He's really just sitting on the floor in a corner of the gym with his laptop. He's eating a chocolate doghnut, watching video clips of Delilah Ghost wrestling on his computer. I guess that's wise, right? He's preparing for his match. Suddenly, we see JJ's eyes lighten up. We look on his computer screen and we see a link to the side of Delilah posing? JJ starts looking around and eats the rest of his doughnut. JJ is meddling around on the computer and his jaw drops. Only God knows what JJ Hart is looking at. JJ maneuvers his hand over his lap as some sleazy music starts to play. Suddenly, we see Reno come into view. Reno peeps over and sees JJ sitting alone in the corner and looks over, trying to go unnoticed. Reno's eyes pop wide open and he runs off to the back and JJ starts to wobble back and forth to the music playing now...)

JJ: (Singing Boy George REALLY off-key) Oh baby do you really want to hurt me?

(We cut to the back where we see Reno run to Rude's office where Rude is watching a Razorback's game.)

Reno: Dude, you won't believe what I just saw...

Rude: A rat in the gym?

Reno: I see those all the time... I meam, um... JJ Hart is um...

Rude: What?

Reno: Um... he's watching YouTube.

Rude: So?

(Reno is blushing.)

Reno: Um, he's watching Delilah Ghost on YouTube...

Rude: So? He needs to get ready for his asswhipping...

(Reno starts pulling on his own hair.)

Reno: NO DUDE!!! He's WATCHING her on YouTube...

(Reno is hoping Rude gets the hint.)

Rude: What are you getting at?

Reno: Dude, he's watching a striptease and playing pocket pool!

Rude: What?

Reno: Yep...

Rude: That's NASTY!

Reno: I know...

(Rude starts thinking.)

Rude: You just gave me an idea!

(Rude gets online and we fade.)

[return?]

(We fade in to Reno and Rude's office. We see Reno and Rude behind a computer. Reno and Rude are snickering as they log onto Yahoo IM! and start up a chat window with 'BigSexyNLR696969'.)

Reno: Dude, this is so wrong...

Rude: I want you to check on our little friend once in a while...

Reno: This is gonna be cool!

(Reno is laughing as we look at the chat window and Rude is typing away.)

HotDeadChickf69NLR: how r u sexy?

(Reno and Rude wait for a moment for a response.)

BigSexyNLR696969: fine

Reno: Holy crap!

Rude: Contact!

BigSexyNLR696969: who this?

Reno: Just like talking to a 6th grader... this is gonna be so easy!

HotDeadChickf69NLR: I think u know who this is.

Reno: Dooode!

BigSexyNLR696969: no

(Reno is laughing and Rude is typing.)

HotDeadChickf69NLR: this is delilah ghost

(The two wait for a response.)

BigSexyNLR696969: really?

HotDeadChickf69NLR: yes

(Reno is laughing as Rude is searching thorugh his computer for pics of Delialah Ghost from the RCW archives.)

HotDeadChickf69NLR: do u want a pic?

BigSexyNLR696969: sure

(Suddenly, Rude selects a rather revealing bikini pic and sends it to 'BigSexy'.)

Rude: I want you to go check on our friend...

(Reno leaves the room and Rude continues on his prank.)

HotDeadChickf69NLR: do u like?

(Moments pass by without a response, suddenly Reno walks back in the room.)

Reno: This might take a moment...

Rude: Why

Reno: JJ is... well... enjoying the pic you sent.

Rude: YES!

HotDeadChickf69NLR: r u there big sexy?

BigSexyNLR696969: ur hot!

(Reno and Rude laugh and give each other a hi fiiiiive!)

Reno: Man, this is so wrong...

Rude: Yeah.

HotDeadChickf69NLR: say, do u want to do more than wrestle around Wednesday night?

BigSexyNLR696969: sure do!

HotDeadChickf69NLR: what do u say after we fool around on the mat, we go to dinner and then fool around at my place?

BigSexyNLR696969: can we?

HotDeadChickf69NLR: sure can!

BigSexyNLR696969: i love u!

HotDeadChickf69NLR: but we have to keep it secret from mikey. he still in love, he not know i break it off.

BigSexyNLR696969: i can keep secret!

HotDeadChickf69NLR: good. see u big sexy! :*

HotDeadChickf69NLR has logged off.

(Reno and Rude look at each other...)

Rude: This is so going to be an interesting edition of Southern Dynamite!

(fin)

[Delilah Ghost]

On the tv screen, a commercial for Taco Bell ends and a rather large log cabin fills the screen. The cameraman trudges through the snow to the front door and knocks. After a moment, an older gentleman answers and beckons the cameraman inside.

"Come in, come in. Clive Hastings, pleasure to meet you. I see they've finally gotten the plows up our way. I wasn't looking forward to being her passenger through all of that. If I wanted to have a coronary, I could manage it without being in a car that Delilah's driving. But I digress, you're not here to listen to me babble on about the snow and her so-called driving skills. Follow me. I believe she's still down in the exercise room."

He picks up a bottle of water from a table next to the door and heads down a flight of stairs directly behind him. The cameraman follows, and is led through a door at the end of a hallway. Once inside, you can barely hear the sound of someone whaling on a heavy bag over Denis Leary singing 'Voices In My Head'. Clive walks over to a stereo and switches it off.

"Hey!"

"I've been itching to come down and turn that blasted thing off for hours. Now I have a reason."

"Huh?"

"Worked yourself into one word answers already?"

The cameraman turns toward the heavy bag hanging in the corner in time to see Delilah peek out from behind it.

"Oh. Hey, cameradude, welcome to our little slice of frozen hell. Clive must be really happy to see you because that means the plow's been by and he can drive himself into town."

"A cause for a bloody celebration if you ask me. I'll leave you to your badinage."

"Badinage? C'mon Clive, not all of us are Oxford educated."

"Not my fault you went to an inferior college," he retorts, tossing the bottle of water at Delilah, "Although one would think you would have left Harvard with something of a vocabulary."

"I have a perfectly good vocabulary, thank you," she replies, catching the bottle and twisting the cap off. She takes a drink, sets it on the floor and turns back to the bag. "I know all sorts of neat words. Like left hook and right cross," which she demonstrates on the bag. "Not to forget right knee," she says, grabbing the bag with both hands and firmly planting her knee into it. "Oh, oh, oh! And spin kick too!" She takes a step back, whirling around and landing a solid kick that sends the bag swinging back. Delilah chuckles, picking her water bottle back up and turning to Clive with an innocent look on her face.

"Are we out of Red Bull?"

"You are NOT having any more sodding Red Bull!" Clive storms out of the room, muttering something about being locked in a closet with hyperactive squirrels that sends Delilah into a fit of laughter. Once she hears him stomping up the stairs, she turns to the camera and winks. Going over to a window set high up in the wall, Delilah steps up on a chair and opens it. She reaches through the gap and pulls out a can of Red Bull.

"Don't tell Clive. He's got no sense of humor."

She jumps down off the chair and cracks it open. Delilah takes a drink and grins. "Ohhh yeah. That's the stuff right there. Well now, Mr. Cameraman, I'm sure you're not here to witness my hopeless Red Bull addiction. Oh no. You're here to listen to me yammer on and on about how I'm going to introduce our friend JJ Hart to all sorts of interesting ways I know to inflict much pain and bodily harm. And how I'm going to give him a lesson in anatomy by breaking bones he didn't even know he had. Not to mention exactly how many pounds of pressure it takes to rupture the various organs in the human body. And shall I wrap everything up with a graphic description of how I'll rip his arms off and use them to beat seven shades of crap out of his little friends Reno and Rude?"

Delilah stops talking, a dreamy sort of look on her face.

"Wait...wasn't there two guys in Final Fantasy seven called Reno and Rude?"

She frowns for a moment, thinking that last statement over.

"Nevermind. See, my point is, if I actually had one, is that I'm not going to go into all of that. Nope. Not gonna. I'm gonna leave it all as one big, painful, and most likely bloody, surprise. What I am gonna do is give Mr. Cameraman a kiss for luck," she says as she walks up to the camera and plants a kiss on the lens, "and send him on his merry way. He's gonna need all the luck he can get to drive back down the mountain. I'll wish you luck as well, JJ. Make sure your insurance is all paid up and current. Because, to steal a line from a long-ago champion in a different company....you're about to meet your own final fantasy."

And on that note, with one last wink and a chuckle, the picture fades to black.........