SD 44: Firebomb vs Delilah Ghost

[Ben Jacobs]

Post RPs below.

2 point early rp bonus for each wrestler's first rp which scores above 10 and is posted prior to Tuesday, August 25th @ 3:30 PM CST. (Board time)

RP deadline is Tuesday, Sep. 1st @ 11:59 PM CST (board time)

Match & segment deadline is Wednesday, Sep.2nd @ 10AM CST. (board time)

[Delilah Ghost]

The sun was low in the ocean beyond the small Caribbean island. There wasn't room for much besides a town and a few scattered houses, but the docks were always full and every bar was packed. On the eastern side of the island, not far from town, sits a large white house overlooking the Caribbean. Being only one floor, it couldn't quite be called a mansion, but it took up quite a bit of room. The side facing the sea had a large patio along the length of the house, jutting out on stilts sunk into the sand cliff. The patio itself was mostly empty, except for a deck chair and a low table next to it. And, of course, the person currently occupying said chair.

Surprisingly pale, given the location, and dressed in a blue-green wrap knotted above one hip and matching bikini top, sat Delilah Ghost. With a smile and a sigh, she puts her drink down on the table. "I don't care what you say, it doesn't suck being me."

"But Delilah, you ask, you lost to Chris Lee? He won the big prize, you say, you can't be too happy right now. Alas, you're wrong, and I am. Hey, I got toooo...drive a dump truck full of underwear....aaaaaaand beat the crap outta the Hardly Boys, and if that can't put a smile on your face you have no soul. None. At all. And yes, I may have lost to Lee, but I can still be satisfied with my fists getting quality time with his face. I just wish I could take credit for his mysterious disappearance. Or," she says, looking like the proverbial cat that ate the canary, "can I?"

With a grin and a laugh, she waves the idea away like it was so much cigarette smoke. "Or it's simply what happens when Unstoppable Force meets Irresistible Object...it just keeps on going, out the door, to its car, down the road, yadda yadda yadda. Either way, after the bundle of wonderful that was School of Hard Knocks, I take a little break and end up with a match against ol' SpongeBomb himself. Not only that, it comes with all sorts of nifty little rules that pretty much guarantee a win for me. C'mon, it'll be a cold day in hades when Firebomb actually listens to anything a ref says. And if I end up on the outside and ol' FB manages to distract the ref, I'm so not worried about Plastic Surgery Barbie. All I gotta do is ask if the fans have a lighter. Wouldn't want anything melted outta shape, after all. Now I'll admit I'm not the best for following the rules. But really, all I have to do to win is piss Firebomb off enough that he breaks them first. A win for me, a bowl of pissed in cheerios for SpongeBomb Firepants, the peasants rejoice and all is right in the world. Right? Right. See you there, kiddies."

And with that, Delilah gets up and goes inside the house, and the picture fades to black.........

[Firebomb]

We fade in to see Firebomb working out on a punching bag landing shin kick after shin kick partaking in his kick boxing training. When Cissy Miyas walks up to him and talks to him

CM: Why are you working on kick boxing skills, when you are in a pure rules match? It makes no sense unless you want to be Dqed.

FB: You know Cissy, you are my wife and a pro wrestler yourself I would figure you would know the rules. Delilah me listening to Colt Tatum is not going to be a problem cause he knows the rules of the game ans I am a student of this game, that we call Pro Wrestling. There are plenty of rules for disqualification’s, such as standing outside the ring for too long closed fist, refusing to break, if you think I going to even let you get near the ropes if get a submission hold on then you are wrong, but if you get lucky then yea I will obey the rules. So your throat, groin, , eyes and hair are off limits but that’s on I hardly ever have done any those tactics and if I did it wasn’t in front of a ref.

CM: but still theirs is no kicking allowed.

FB: Oh Cissy I don’t know what rule book your reading but my guess it is the same one that Delilah is The rules state “a wrestler may not punch his or her opponent with a closed fist nor kick his or her opponent with the toe of their boot. Biting is not allowed, nor is spitting in the eyes.”

CM; Exactly no kicking .

FB: With th the toe of their boot and yes no closed fist I can Delilah using any part of of my, head or body forearms kicks without the toe knees elbows I can throw her I can attack her from any direction at any time, including when she is downed in the confines of the ring crap it is legal for me to knock her out even. But Cissy you know what rules I love the most that everyone seams to forget .

CM: No What?


FB: The stalling rules, Intentionally running out of the ring, Purposely holding the ropes to avoid combat.

CM: So Rope Brakes are illegal?

FB: No, but going into the ropes to stall is, What means this Delilah can’t run and she can’t hide, but she can be prepared to a beating my kick boxing skills, my Muay Thai skills are all legal and when you throw in my amateur and pro wrestling skills I sure Delilah will be up to her head in this match with me no matter if its pure rules with no warnings or a normal relax rule match. I am not worried about her, ok Plastic Surgery Barbie.

CM: You think that was funny?

FB: NO!

CM: Because you know as well as the world there is no Plastic Surgery on this body very few parts of my body has had Surgery and only two parts have been cosmetic and that was to make my man more happy.

FB: OH Yea, and one more last thing you little under develop flat bich. Get a boob job so you can impress some guys that are not redneck inbreeding hicks, that make these liberal nuts look normal. Now you might of impressed some of these RCW hicks but everyone knows all you did was look at a few old Henny miller promos from WpW and grabbed those one-liners insults that you think is going to make me blow my top, So while your Accommodation of insults might of impressed the fans, they did little to me cause I have heard them all before SpongeBomb and Firepants. But hey if you really needed to rip off insults you should of picked up some from way better people So the only thing that guarantee you is a spot in the Henry miller fan club. Cause when you play with fire you get your ass burned.

[Delilah Ghost]

After the Taco Bell commercial and a sound byte leading into tonight's local Fox News, the letters R, C and W flash one by one on the screen. This is followed by darkness, and a loud 'click' as a switch is thrown. Track lighting on the floor flickers to life, a light at a time, until it outlines a T shape on the floor. Standing at the intersection is something that might frighten some, and amuse others.

At least, those that remember it.

A fairly battered, life sized, cardboard cutout of none other than Firebomb. Someone has taken the time to put pink bunny ears on his head, and below, a neon pink, as well as ridiculously overstuffed, speedo. The entire outfit was completed by a bikini top in a flower pattern done with colors not seen in nature.

Anyone that watched too many episodes of 'Jackass' might be heard to exclaim, "Bunny the lifeguard!"

A slow, and obviously sarcastic, clapping can be heard somewhere off camera. The 'click click' of high heels sounds out as someone approaches. Delilah Ghost walks in from the right, looking surprisingly professional in a white button up blouse, dark blue skirt and black heels, hair pulled up into a tight bun on her head. She stops clapping as she stands beside the cutout, turning toward the camera with her hands clasped in front of her chest.

"Bravo, FB. Bra-vo. I have to say your promos have steadily improved since back in the day. That had to be some of the most coherent stuff I have EVER heard come out of your mouth. Ever. Was it the second or third time through Hooked On Phonics that worked? Does Cissy help by playing naughty teacher and misbehaving schoolboy with you?

Delilah grins, circling the cutout of Firebomb. "Gotta say, I rather enjoyed your little nostalgia trip, FB. I even searched my closets for something like DVA would wear, but the only place you can find skirts that short is East Hollywood every friday night when Cissy and her friends get together. And then you bust out with a name I haven't even thought about in years. Ol' HWM. I wish he would've stayed with the Hurricane gimmick. That kid was comedy gold right there. But to straighten out the whole 'Accommodation of insults' thing....and I have no clue what sort of context to take OR use that in....you, sir, are sorely mistaken. SpongeBomb Firepants? Mine. Hell, to be perfectly honest, everybody back in the day would get together and insult you. Insulting Firebomb is like breathing, or riding a bike not named Cissy....everybody does it. And with a shot of penicillin, everybody can ride Cissy too. Ooohh....shot right past snark and landed in childish, didn't I?"

Chuckling, Delilah reaches up to straighten the bunny ears on the cutout's head. "Of course, I could just claim to be giving you a way out of our match, SpongeBomb. I amuse myself by insulting you and your...ahem...girl....and I use that term loosely....you get a reason to get yourself DQ'ed ten seconds after the bell rings, and we all walk away happy. The other option is the bell rings, you get your ass handed to you by a girl, and then only me and the fans walk away happy. You just get to walk away yourself, as someone that I've beaten before and will do so again. Mister Big Bad Man. Mister Muay Thai My Own Shoes Like A Big Boy. Too many big words? You joke, me punchline. You fire, me fire extinguisher. Still not getting it? Do I need to grunt and wave a stick around? Perhaps a demonstration can get my point across...."

Delilah reaches out and pokes the cutout of Firebomb in the face. It totters for a moment before tipping backward, the bunny ears coming loose and falling to the floor with a clatter. "Couldn'tve said it better myself," she says with a grin as she walks away, and the picture fades to black........