5/2/08
Fayetteville, AR
***************
9 a.m.
[The scene opens with someone rolling Doug’s camera on him as he sleeps. He’s shirtless with the covers only pulled up to his waist. The camera person moves from the opposite side of the bed and seems to straddle Doug’s hips. Just then, a voice is heard from off-camera.]Tiffany: Good morning, sexy.[Doug begins to stir and rubs his eyes. As he opens his eyes, he notices that he’s being filmed and smiles at Tiffany.]DG: Hey babe. Just love to watch me sleep, don’t you?
Tiffany: Uh huh.[The camera slides down and to the side as Doug kisses Tiffany.]Tiffany: So, what’s your plans for the day?DG: Well, I figure after we get dress that we go over to the Hitching Post and get some breakfast.
Tiffany: Oh good, because I’m just dying to have some pancakes.DG: Now that sounds great. Then, after that, I should go work out for a while. After that, since you’re in the mood to film me, I’ll cut a promo.
Tiffany: Speaking of which, Jeffrey Hollywood just put one out.DG: Let me guess, he went into a long, boring speech about how great he is now that he beat me, how my career’s going down the tubes and how he’ll beat me again this week?
Tiffany: Yeah, how’d you know?DG: When you’re in this business as long as I’ve been, you just know what the a**hole’s gonna say after a big win. He thinks that just because he won a match fair and square for a change that it makes him something special. I got respect for him now but that’s about it. I’m sure the front office will give him a shot at me once I’m the Natural Champion.
Tiffany: You’re already my champion.DG: I know, sweetie, and you’re mine.
Tiffany: Good. Oh, also, Hollywood talked about who your partner was.DG: Well, it shouldn’t be too hard to figure out. All of the puzzle pieces are right in front of everyone.
Tiffany: Oh yeah? Then who’s your partner?[Doug’s smile turns into a sly smirk.]DG: Wait and see.
Tiffany: You pr*ck.DG: So are you gonna get off of me so I can get dressed?
Tiffany: NooooooDG: I see how it is.
[The camera begins to shake as Doug wrestles Tiffany to the bed. The camera now stares up at Doug as he looks down at Tiffany.]DG: I think you’d better turn that camera off right now.
Tiffany: Good idea. Nobody needs to see this.[Doug leans in and kisses her again as they turn off the camera.]6 p.m.
[The camera turns back on with a shot of Doug sitting on his couch staring straight into the camera with a determined look on his face.]DG: So, Jeffrey, you put your money where your mouth was and not only accepted my challenge for a tag team match this week but defeated me in the center of the ring, 1-2-3, at the last show. While, in your eyes, I may be a fool and a murderer, I still have the b*lls to say when I was beat. So, Jeff, yes, you were the better man at the last show.
[Doug brings his hands up and claps a few times before continuing.]DG: Of course, I still don’t like your sorry a** and I’m sure that breaks your heart. But you see, I can respect a man who has the talent to win a wrestling match on his own without any outside help or foreign objects…even if I don’t like the son of a b*tch.
[Doug brings his left hand up to his face and slides it down his mouth and goatee.]DG: But now I hear you talking about how everyone thought I would kick you’re a** at Southern Dynamite last week and how now I’m not the only wrestler that matters anymore. First of all, I didn’t know you cared about what these people thought. In fact, you, like every other loudmouth, self-centered piece of trash in this company loves to call these people hicks. So what? I let them down? You pulled the wool over their eyes? So what? You know as well as I do that the past is the past. Yeah, you won but that’s just one match. I find every loss to be a great learning experience and I’ve become greatly experienced over my career as have you, Jeff. I don’t care if I lose as long as I can learn something from it. For instance, when that idiot we legally have to call the Southern Heritage Champion Phil won the battle royal, I learned that he would talk nonsensical bullsh*t about how great of a wrestler he is when I wrestled circles around him until the brass knuckles came into play or repeats for the zillionth time about how he “fooled everyone” with the EBDT unveiling.
[Doug shakes his head as if to say “What an a**hole.”]DG: With you, Jeff, I learned that after you get one win, one very tough, hard fought win, that now you think you’re a gift from God or some egotistical bullcrap like that. You say how I don’t matter anymore? Well, the only reason people care about you is that they either tuned into watch or heard about it on the website that you beat Doug Gavelon. Before that, all anyone said is how much you remind them of DC or Casanova: how you come in here, boasting about what you did in another company, and how you’re gonna reign supreme over this company with dirty tactics and attacks when your victims aren’t looking. Now, DC’s been AWOL since losing to Fuego and while Cas did run out Eno, he hasn’t been his same, lowlife self. But people look at you, Jeff, and say “Oh, there’s that guy that actually beat Doug Gavelon. He must have at least a decent finisher or something like that. Let’s take a look at this kid and see if he can actually do it again.”
[Doug develops a smirk across his face.]DG: Face it, Jeff, no one bought into your bullsh*t until you beat me and once I beat the hell out of you at Southern Dynamite, they’ll completely forget about you. I’m not saying that the last show’s result was a fluke but I’m not too big on the idea of lightning striking twice. So, Jeff, while you don’t seem to be of this opinion anymore, prepare well for our match because I will prove to you why I am the only wrestler that matters.
[Doug reaches down next to his feet and grabs a water bottle. He gulps down the water for a few moments before putting the bottle’s cap back on and setting it back down next to him. He licks his lips and turns his attention back to the camera.]DG: And lucky me, not only do I get to whip Jeff’s a** at Southern Dynamite but I get my hands on Brock a few weeks earlier than previously planned. Brock, while I won’t be holding anything back for this match and I know that neither will you, I don’t want to hear what I do to you in this match or at Hog Heaven as an excuse for why you’re no longer the Natural Champion after Texarkana. It starts this week at Southern Dynamite and ends at HH3. I get to show the whole world what I’ve been saying: that you’re a paper champion and that you’re only still champion because of your brother and your partner for this week. Oh sure, you’re nowhere near as bad a champion as Phil is. You’ve actually defended your belt but the fact is that in all of your defenses, you’ve never beaten your opponents in a fair fight. Already, I’ve set in motion steps to make sure that our title match at Hog Heaven is a fair fight but that’s a different topic for a different time. Right now, all I’m concerned about is the main event at this week’s show. All I’m concerned about is going out there and proving why the four of us are in the main event. All I’m concerned about is beating you two jabronies from pillar to post.
[Doug raises his hands and smacks them together. His head lowers a bit as he rests his hands against his chin.]DG: As for the identity of my partner this week…there’s obviously a lot of ways for it to go. There’s always Too Sexy as he was wearing a Doug Gavelon t-shirt and would do anything to get his hands on Hollywood. Then again, maybe he’s just one of my biggest fans and decided to show his support.
[Doug begins to laugh at the thought of Too Sexy being a fanboy.]DG: There’s also been mention of my partner being either Havoc or Jarvis.
[Doug’s demeanor suddenly changes to dead serious.]DG: While I wouldn’t mind burying the hatchet with either of them, I’m sure there’s several other places they’d like to bury that hatchet on me. No, it won’t be either side of the Devastation coin. As far as I know, Havoc’s still collecting the pieces of his brain that I shattered during my dark times and Jarvis is enjoying his retirement.
Honestly, it won’t matter who’s my partner because all that matters to me is shutting the mouth of Jeffrey Hollywood and opening the eyes of Brock Davids at Southern Dynamite. What matters to me is going out there and for a second straight event, being a show stopper, no pun intended…maybe.
[Doug briefly smiles again.]DG: Jeff, Brock, quite frankly, all you have to know is that I’m coming for you and that my fury will be so red hot in our tag match that they may not even be able to contain it in the Boys and Girls Club. Get ready for pain, boys, because that’s what I’m bringing to our match. Get ready for your utter destruction. Get ready for THE only wrestler that matters. For the Burning Hammer. For…DOUG GAVELON!
[The camera spins around and shows a close-up of Tiffany.]Tiffany: Be ready for an a**-kicking, b*tches.[Tiffany smiles as she spins the camera back to Doug who is rolling on the couch laughing.]DG: Yeah, I’m sure they’re really scared right now.
Tiffany: They better be because after you’re done with them, I’ll whip their a**es.DG: Okay, babe. Whatever you say.
Tiffany: I’ll whip you’re a** right now.[Doug and Tiffany continue laughing as Tiffany closes in on Doug. They, jokingly, struggle over the camera before Doug finally grabs it. He points it at Tiffany as she stands in front of the turned off TV. She’s wearing a black hoodie and some torn up blue jeans. Her blonde hair now only extends to her shoulders and she has dyed the tips black since last we got a really good look at her during Doug’s promos last week.]DG: Now I see why you like pointing this thing everywhere: I’ve got a really great view right now.
Tiffany: You got that right.DG: I really like what you’ve done with your hair, by the way.
Tiffany: Well thank you.DG: You went from sexy to drop dead gorgeous.
[Tiffany walks over to the couch and kisses Doug off-camera. The camera continues rolling as they continue passionately kissing, getting up from the couch and walking into the bedroom at the same time. The camera finally becomes still as Tiffany backs up in front of the bed.]Tiffany: Why do you think we always end up here?DG: I don’t know. Probably because we have so much fun in here.
[Tiffany lets out a shocked laugh.]Tiffany: Well, I’m sure you’ll enjoy this.[Tiffany slides the zipper down her hoodie and takes it off to reveal a tight-fitting pink bra with a black boe in the front. She then undoes her pants and takes them off to show her matching pink panties. She then goes over and lies down on the bed as Doug comes over and joins her.]Tiffany: I’d better not see any of this on TV.DG: No, I’m gonna edit everything out after you called them b*tches.
[Tiffany smiles again.]Tiffany: Good.[The camera is set down on the bed next to Tiffany as Doug comes from off-camera, now shirtless, on top.]DG: I love you so much right now.
Tiffany: I love you, too.[They begin to kiss passionately again as Doug begins stroking her stomach. He grabs the bed sheet and pulls it towards him which causes the camera to slide off the bed and fade to black.]
